The Ballad of Rampant Ron by Gillian Ewing

You brought champagne and flowers that day
‘Courtesy Rampant Ron,
An outside win, long odds to pay
I had a tenner on.’

An each-way bet for me was fine,
Like you with Rampant Ron,
You could be either hers or mine,
The chances evens on.

This 2-horse race I’d settled for
(excluding Rampant Ron)
Your wife or me – you wanted more,
A bigger field was on.

Small consolation coming third,
Courtesy Rampant Ron,
Some flowers, some wine, a soothing word
Weren’t what I’d gambled on.

The Redcar Races bred romance;
I lost like Rampant Ron,
No longer with an even chance,
Reverse forcasting’s on.

A likely jackpot caught your eye,
The odds on Rampant Ron
And me required you pass us by;
Our form just wasn’t on.

The new young filly turned your head,
Laughing at Rampant Ron,
You speculated on a bed,
Put your charisma on.

• • • • •

They went and gelded that poor horse;
Now no more Rampant, Ron
Runs gallantly around the course
While stallions get on,

Dead flowers, flat wine are left today,
The ghost of Rampant Ron
Straight from the horse’s mouth says, ‘Neigh,
Men aren’t worth betting on.’

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